C + D = F

Focus – it’s one of the main keys to successful communication with a horse. For me, focus means two things: a clear goal – a clear picture in my head of what it is I am trying to accomplish with Becky - and determination in my mind to get to that goal. The first clause is important as it helps me to avoid sending conflicting signals to Becky. If I know exactly what I am looking for from her, I am, hopefully, more able to convey that to her in a consistent manner and more able to recognize and reward her tries in that direction. The second clause is really what makes the goal that I set significant for Becky. It’s that nebulous will-power, confidence and mental strength that Becky recognizes as something worthy to listen to. If consistency and clarity of my requests is what initiates and maintains communication between us, then that mental strength on my part is what changes my approach from “pretty please Becky, would you find the time in your day to try this?” to “ok Becky, this is what I’d like you to try.” From begging to assertive.

Ultimately, the lack of that determination translates into a lessening of the clarity of the goal and the consistency with which I request Becky to listen to it. So, really, these two components are very much connected. Together though, they translate into what Becky understands as effective leadership on my part; something that gives her confidence in me, and confidence in herself to try and follow my requests.

Now, did I tell you that Becky is a very dominant mare?

She is very clear in her goals and very determined to get there, too. That’s why she is the top mare in her paddock-herd! So, it takes a lot of determination on my part to convince her to put aside her goals and follow my lead.

It’s a funny thing, but I find that this determination cannot be faked. It comes from a deep belief within me that I know what I want (for us both) and that we will get there. Just telling it to myself, without really believing it deep inside, rarely works - Becky can usually tell that my determination is half-hearted at best (now there’s an oxymoron!) I either don’t believe in the goal that I set, or I don’t really believe that I have the skills or the will to convince Becky to set aside her own thoughts and listen to me. And this is when trouble usually happens for us: when my weak ideas come up against her stronger ones, which makes her display her determination, which usually comes in a series of bucks, hops, rears, etc.

You’d be surprised just how used I am to those displays!

But sometimes that determination comes from unusual sources…

A few weeks back, I was working on the canter under the guidance of Marina. I was just recovering from some gastro bug, so I was tired and sore and, to add to the pain, it was a very cold and drizzly day. The sort of day when both Becky and I ask each other, “what on earth are we doing out here in this weather?”

I asked Becky to go on a circle at a canter; Becky had other ideas which she expressed by putting her head down and half-bucking half-hopping in the direction that she wanted to go. And I just thought, “I am soooo bloody sick of this. I am not in the mood for this today. We are going my way and that’s the end of it.” Apparently, the way these thoughts actually translated into actions was by me just setting my body and my rein in the direction that I wanted to go, and calmly (not aggressively or punishingly) pushing her on with my legs… and Becky followed. First circle wasn’t gracious on her part, but the subsequent ones were better and better as she tuned more into my determination and gained confidence in my leadership. As Marina put it, she had no chance of winning that argument against me and she respected that.

But sometimes that determination disappears (particularly if it’s not fed by a more permanent and less volatile fuel than frustration!)

Last Sunday I returned to the canter work in the arena, while Becky’s paddock-mates were grazing just nearby. Of course, every time Becky went around the circle that I put her on, she would come to a spot where she saw her friends, and her goal became to go towards them. So, what did she do? Same thing: put her breaks on and try to veer off in the direction of her friends. Of course I got in the way of that with my reins and seat, which set her off shaking her head and hopping, but, this time, my inner belief in being able to convince her to listen to me just wasn’t there. Every time we came up to that spot, a little voice inside me squeaked “shiiiiiit… here we go again… not sure I can do this… how do I do this?”… And Becky knew it! It translated into my seat, into the stiffness in my body, into inability to maintain any sort of rhythm. Becky knew that all she had to do was ramp up her own acrobatic display of her intentions (which she did, nearly dumping me out of the saddle) and I would give up (which I did!)

So I went back to working at the trot in which I was far more confident and hence able to overcome her thoughts of being with her friends without any dramas. In the end, we finished on a good note, by achieving a more rhythmical and freer trot than before.

As far as canter goes, well, back to the drawing board. Obviously I need more sessions with Marina in order to gain that confidence within myself (as well as the skills in my seat) before I achieve the required level of determination to change some of Becky’s strongest thoughts.

So, the formula for the key to successful communication with the horse is: Clarity and Consistency + Determination = Focus, but, in the words of Ross Jacobs, “it is simple, but it ain’t easy”.

Comments

[Dazey]

Although it seems to me that you are riding in a discipline that is confined to a ring, I may be able to help you with some different kind of information about communicating with a horse. I admire your determination and your efforts at maintaining a focus which are so important when riding a horse. The information that can give you an expansion for what you have been doing with your mare is in Basic Training for a Safe Trail Horse. It is a small inexpensive paperback narrative with instruction that will show you how to relate to your horse as her alpha mare herd member. That will place you in a dominance over her that she will respect. Although it was written especially for recreational riders who keep horses at home, it contains information about communicating with a horse that can benefit all kinds of horses. it is available at Amazon.com or questions may be emailed to the author at safetrailhorse@gmail.com where autographed copies are available.